A Scored Model Essay

It is easier to aim for a strong essay when you can picture what one looks like. You do not need to memorize a sample to write well; you need to understand the qualities that make a response succeed. Once you can name those qualities, you can build them into your own writing, whatever the topic turns out to be.

A strong response states a clear judgment about which passage is better supported, backs it with specific evidence from the texts, analyzes that evidence, and stays organized and readable. Its analysis, organization, and command of conventions meet the three scored traits. Length or fancy wording alone does not earn a strong score.

What a Strong Response Does

Imagine a response to two passages debating whether a town should build a new highway. A strong essay opens by naming the debate and stating a thesis: Passage A is better supported because it uses traffic studies and cost figures, while Passage B relies on worry about change. Each body paragraph then makes one point, quotes or paraphrases a detail, and explains why it matters — noting, for instance, that Passage A’s data is specific while Passage B offers only feelings. The essay compares the two sides directly rather than summarizing each in turn. It closes by restating the judgment in fresh words. Nothing here is showy. Its strength comes from a clear thesis, real evidence, and analysis in every paragraph.

What Separates Strong from Weak

The gap between a high and low response usually comes down to a few habits. A strong essay judges the evidence; a weak one only summarizes the passages. A strong essay has a findable thesis and one idea per paragraph; a weak one wanders. A strong essay quotes or paraphrases specific details; a weak one speaks in vague generalities. Notice what a strong response does not need: perfect grammar, big vocabulary, or five paragraphs. A four-paragraph essay with a couple of small errors can score well if its reasoning is clear and its evidence is real. As you practice, measure your own drafts against these habits — clear thesis, real evidence, analysis over summary — rather than against length or polish.

A Worked Example with Illustrative Scores

The town, people, budget, and pilot figures below are hypothetical teaching examples. The scores are instructional self-assessments using the GED’s three-trait framework, not official GED scores or a promise of a test result. The model is one possible strong response.

Source A: Test Later Tuesday Hours

The library should test two additional evening hours on Tuesdays for six months. In a four-week May pilot, staff recorded 176 visits between 6 and 8 p.m.; 62 visitors said work schedules kept them from coming before 6. These counts suggest interest, although a short pilot cannot predict demand throughout the year. The proposed trial would cost $6,000 for additional staffing, covered by the library’s existing outreach allocation. Staff would report evening attendance, program participation, and daytime staffing each month. At six months, the board should compare use and costs before deciding whether to continue. If evening hours reduce daytime service, the board should revise the schedule.

Source B: Keep the Current Schedule

The library should keep its current schedule. My neighbors tell me evenings are already crowded with family activities, so hardly anyone will come. A library is a daytime service, and that tradition has worked for years. Spending $6,000 on a trial makes little sense when we could buy more books. I have not counted how many people want later hours, but buying books feels like a benefit everyone can understand. Supporters may say workers need access after 6 p.m.; people who care about reading will find time during the day. Once the library adds evening hours, it will never be able to return to its old schedule.

Prompt

Analyze the two arguments. Explain which position is better supported, using relevant and specific evidence from both sources. Evaluate the reasoning rather than choosing the policy you personally prefer.

Model Response

Source A makes the better-supported argument for testing additional Tuesday evening hours. It supplies attendance evidence, identifies a funding source, and proposes a decision based on measured results. Source B raises a reasonable question about spending money on books, but relies mostly on neighbors’ opinions and assumptions about library users.

The strongest evidence in Source A is the May pilot. Staff recorded 176 visits during the proposed evening period, and 62 visitors reported that work prevented earlier visits. These figures connect the proposal to an observed need rather than merely asserting that later hours would be popular. They do not establish that every worker needs evening access or that use would remain steady all year. Source A acknowledges the pilot’s short duration, which keeps its conclusion appropriately limited to a trial.

Source A also gives the board a way to examine costs and service tradeoffs. It identifies $6,000 in an existing outreach allocation and calls for monthly reports on attendance, program participation, and daytime staffing. These measures could help the board determine whether later hours draw enough use to justify the expense. The allocation does not mean the trial has no opportunity cost: money used for staffing cannot also fund another outreach activity. However, a six-month review and a stated willingness to revise the schedule give the board a means of responding to disappointing results.

Source B’s suggestion to buy books deserves consideration, but the passage gives no evidence comparing the benefits of book purchases with evening access. Its claim that hardly anyone will come is also difficult to reconcile with the pilot visits, and its claim that hours can never be reduced is unsupported. The evidence therefore favors Source A’s limited experiment, while leaving the permanent schedule undecided. A trial with published results can answer questions that Source B’s opinions cannot settle.

Illustrative Trait Scores

Trait 1 — Creation of Arguments and Use of Evidence: 2 out of 2. The response makes a supported judgment, uses specific details from both sources, and examines limitations, assumptions, and the opportunity cost of funding the trial.

Trait 2 — Development of Ideas and Organizational Structure: 2 out of 2. The response develops distinct points about need, costs, and the opposing argument in a clear progression. The conclusion preserves the limited scope of the proposed trial.

Trait 3 — Clarity and Command of Standard English Conventions: 2 out of 2. Sentences are readable and varied, vocabulary fits the task, and grammar and punctuation remain controlled across the response.

Illustrative total: 6 out of 6 before the GED’s double weighting. These annotations describe this teaching model; an official score requires the official scoring process.

Watch: A Short Video Lesson

Test Prep Champions gives a clear overview to go with this lesson:

A Routine for Aiming High

1. State a clear thesis naming the better-supported passage.
2. Give specific evidence from the texts in each paragraph.
3. Analyze the evidence instead of summarizing it.
4. Keep the essay organized and readable, not long or fancy.

Practice

1. Do you need to memorize a sample essay to write well?
2. What four things does a strong response do?
3. What usually separates a strong essay from a weak one?
4. Does a strong essay need perfect grammar?
5. Can a four-paragraph essay score well?
6. What should you measure your drafts against?

Answers

1. No — you need to understand what makes one succeed.
2. States a judgment, gives evidence, analyzes it, and stays organized.
3. It judges the evidence instead of only summarizing.
4. No — clear reasoning and real evidence matter more.
5. Yes, if its reasoning is clear and its evidence is real.
6. Clear thesis, real evidence, and analysis over summary.

Where This Fits in Your RLA Prep

See these qualities in action through a guided, timed response, and review the standards they meet in understanding the prompt and rubric. See every topic on the Language Arts Prep Hub.

Recommended Prep Books

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